With Great Pooper Comes Great Responsibility.

There are certain moments in your life you will never forget, graduation, athletic achievement,  your first time falling in love, and the birth of a child. Well I want to add another one, the first time you successfully change your child's diaper. This is memorable both in a positive way and rather negative way because it will inevitably be poop and not just any poop the first poop in a extremely long of future poops. I right now am going to tell you something that no one ever tells you until after it is pertinent information, the first bowel movement of a persons life is quite possibly the worst. This looks like tar, I mean road pavement, this stuff smells like burnt hair and anger. This poop will forever change the way you think about excrement. In a way it's probably by design that no matter how elbow deep in your child's bodily waste you get, and it will happen, it will still be better than what you find waiting for you in that first diaper.

A newborn is a pristine wrinkly little person who just needs care. This is a wonderful thing and you will love them with all of your heart! The problem comes when you remember that this is still a person, and they not only require love but also some heavy duty maintenance. I had never been trained for the task ahead of me. Much like a debutant on the silver screen, I had an audience for this momentous occasion. My first and the kids first diaper change. In retrospect it was not complicated but the first time you stare down that still steaming fecal Howitzer, you may freeze. When a baby is born they are basically a cute garbage disposal without the straight to swear pluming. All of this paired with my general lack of knowledge and distrust of diapers gave me pause. The room was filled with nurses, family members, my fiancé, and they looked at me and this baby waiting for switch. To be honest it all goes blank at this point I just remember being done with the stench of poop in my nostrils and the sense of satisfaction in my heart. I learned a valuable lesson that day, always have the grand parents change the diapers.

Have a nice day and smile, it could always be worse,

AJ