Oh Strawberries!

I am a fan of language and the way it can be used, good or bad. Language is the most common way us humans communicate and even when we choose to communicate through art or or other mediums language will always be used to describe whatever feelings or thoughts are being displayed. Part of language and general communication for that matter, like it or not, is vulgarity. The most common usage of vulgarities are of course swear words or often times misappropriated usage of common place words to illustrate someone's actions or the realities of a situation, for example calling someone a piece of poop or saying a something sucks. All of these things are important when it comes to demonstrating your feelings at any given time and are part of how we function. This does not apply with children however.

When the kid was born the lady and I knew that we would need to monitor the filth that often spilled from our lips much like hot lava from a newly erupted volcano claiming all of the villagers in its path. We took precautions such as saying strawberries very LOUD whenever we began to swear in an attempt to have cover our tracks. This was not our idea, we totally stole it, but much like the tune of "God Save The Queen" being stolen by "My Country Tis Of The", seriously that's a real fact check it out if you don't believe me, once we had it we made it ours. Some people such as MY BEST FRIEND, struggle with this strategy and ultimately swear more. For an example he will say " so the f$&8ing oh sh&$7 I mean strawberries f@&k I screwed that up!" This is not the desired affect, again it is a replacement not just an addition. I have had a relatively easy time with this in front of the kid because, we'll I spend the majority of my time with her so I have a lot of practice. The lady however has more difficulty.

Working in an office environment, especially a small one with no highfalutin human resources department, lends itself to the usage of many a oft avoided vulgarity. I cannot stress the imagination and range of the words used, it's actually quite impressive. This does lead to complications upon arriving back in kiddy land because there is quite a bit of editing that must occur in the retelling of the days events and basic speech patterns used in the home. I give her credit though because despite this blatant disadvantage she, all things being equal, very rarely messes up. The surprise issue in this entire situation however are not the obvious vulgarities but more correctly the use of acceptable words in unacceptable ways, oh poopy!

We have obviously had some experience with this, my famous and now titular usage of the phrase "Oh Nuts" for example, refer to the title of this website for clarification, have become acceptable. That being said last night while pouring water on the kid in the bath a new word was used. Butthole is  a rather obvious term and quite descriptive if you really think about it. The problem is however when this word is in the hands, or more correctly lips, of a small child the results may be disastrous. Thus far the repetition of this word has been relegated to just a one time repeat after mom said it To say I'm nervous that this word may again rear it's, well rear again however is an understatement.

Swearing is fun and sometimes exceedingly necessary but remember a mini-dictator may be listening and more than willing to make you pay.

Have a great strawberrying day and remember to smile, it could always be worse,
AJ